based on absolutely nothing

except magic

Week One: because we don’t pre-rank, here is a jumbled mess of power rankings.  Biggest shock, at least to us, is that Boston is having a tough time getting started.  Guess it’s tough to wear the crown.  But also Nashville and Toronto debut higher than they’ve probably ever started in anyone’s power rankings ever before.

Early favorites?  You might not be surprised.






1. (0)

Philadelphia Flyers 2-0-0

The Flyers opened the season by beating the defending champs.  But even more impressively, they’ve only given up one goal, are you shitting me?


2. (0)

Detroit Red Wings


Still haven’t scored on the power play (0-9), but 8 different guys have contributed a goal. Chicago fans should already be scared.


3. (0)

Pittsburgh Penguins


Three games, three opportunities for points. The Penguins are looking feisty after the first week of play, but two trips to overtime don’t impress us THAT much.


4. (0)

Vancouver Canucks


We like Vancouver, which helps them here.  They lost a close one to the Penguins (OT), and have a really tough opening few weeks.  But look for mind-reading super twins Daniel Sedin and Henrik Sedin to keep this team on track.


5. (0)

Buffalo Sabres


We don’t really believe the hype, but that doesn’t mean we don’t like it. Plus, it’s hard to argue against 4 goals per game, even if it’s against middle-tier talent.


6. (0)

Washington Capitals


Not a roaring start, but the Caps will be fine. We think… (though we really have no idea what we’re talking about)


7. (0)

San Jose Sharks


The Sharks are off to a good start again. Is this the year they break through? Or, will we have to start referring to them as the NHL Nuggets… most talented team to never reach the finals.


8. (0)

Chicago Blackhawks


Splitting with Dallas isn’t good, but scoring 6 goals will ease the pain. We’re interested to see how good Patrick Kane will be this year.


9. (0)


One game, one win, one shutout. What more could you ask for?


10. (0)

Boston Bruins


Stanley Cup?  Whatever, we weren’t watching last year.  Boston’s got work to do on the power play (1-13).  In their two losses they’ve scored only one goal.


11. (0)

Anaheim Ducks


The ducks have got to find some offense. Coach Emilio Estevez may have to teach the knuckle puck earlier than he anticipated.


12. (0)

St. Louis Blues


Giving up 3 goals during 7 penalties makes the early concern penalty killing. But they’re clearly a good guy team (based on nothing), so we hope they figure it out soon.


13. (0)

Minnesota Wild


Anyone else think they’re going to sneak into the playoffs?  They lost a tough one to the Islanders, but after giving up 2 goals in the first, they only allowed 5 shots the rest of the game!  SICK!


14. (0)

Montréal Canadiens


This bunch is opportunistic and efficient.  You can thank Carey Price for going 11-11 in penalty killing.  And for killing our hearts as manhandled the Jets.


15. (0)

Nashville Predators


When you start 2-0, you get dap. PREDATORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


16. (0)

Toronto Maple Leafs


Is this team going to give up some goals or what? But Leafs fans have got to be happy with Phil Kessel’s stats. He’s scoring goals on half his shots!


17. (0)

Los Angeles Kings


Anze Kopitar already has 4 pts (3G, 1A), and King’s fans are praying he’s going to have a breakthrough year.


18. (0)

Edmonton Oilers


We know nothing about this team other than they are supposed to be terrible.  We’ll believe it when we see it.


19. (0)

New York Islanders


With the Yankees, Giants, and Jets all dead and buried.  The Islanders will have to get New Yorkers through the winter. (We’re predicting the Rangers won’t be able to)


20. (0)

Dallas Stars


Beat Chicago, how about them apples. They also beat Phoenix… but it’s Phoenix.


21. (0)

Colorado Avalanche


The good and the bad.  No goals allowed on the power play.  No goals scored on the power play either.  Only one goal scored total. BUT, it was all they needed to beat the defending champs.


22. (0)

New York Rangers


Exciting start and both shootouts could have gone the Rangers way.  But instead of being 2-0-0 and cheering… we’re more interested in where Sean Avery is hanging out.


23. (0)

New Jersey Devils


How many goals will Zach Parise have to score to keep them at .500? He’s off to a great start, but let’s see how much help he gets.


24. (0)

Tampa Bay Lightning


Opening night blowout was spectacular, and with 12 different players already registering points, this high ranking may be temporary.


25. (0)

Carolina Hurricanes


You can’t give up 13 goals in just 3 games.  It doesn’t get any easier as the Canes play six of their first eight on the road.


26. (0)

Winnipeg Jets


Nerves. Excitement. Terrible discipline on transitions and puck control. They’ll be fine though. (We hope) (GO JETS!)


27. (0)

Phoenix Coyotes


They gave up 6 goals in their first game.  That’s all.


28. (0)

Calgary Flames


At least they haven’t been shut out. In fact they’re 9th in the league in goals per game! As we like to say, there’s always money in the banana stand.


29. (0)

Ottawa Senators


HOW DO YOU LOSE WHEN YOU ARE 2ND IN GOALS PER GAME?!? (Answer: you’re 29th in goals against)


30. (0)

Columbus Blue Jackets





  1. Vmos says:

    It’s still early but hey you’ve got to start somewhere. I’ll keep an on your progress.

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