WEEKLY NHL POWER RANKINGS

based on absolutely nothing

except Tarot cards

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

Week nine: Find out who is “Just so hot right now.”

RK (LW)

TEAM

REC

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1(1)

Minnesota Wild  20-7-3  They’ve won seven straight y’all.

2(9)

Philadelphia Flyers

 18-7-3 Claude Giroux is leading the league in points (39), but after taking a knee to the head, he’s likely to be out until a concussion or “concussion-like symptoms” (i.e. a concussion) can be ruled out.

3(4)

Chicago Blackhawks 

 18-8-4 As well as they’ve been playing, Blackhawks fans have got to be nervous with the Red Wings and Blues right on their heels.
4(5)

New York Rangers

 17-6-4 No one has fewer losses than the Rangers. Their 6 L’s are tops in the league.
5(3)

Pittsburgh Penguins

 17-9-4 Fucking Bruins.  Right?
6(10)  Vancouver Canucks 18-10-1 9 and 1 in their last 10.  Other than Minnesota, no one is hotter right now. (That sentence sounds so dumb. I’m only leaving it because it makes me think of Zoolander.)
7(2) Boston Bruins  18-9-1 Good news, Zdeno Chara’s is already starting to feel better.
8(8)

 St. Louis Blues

 17-9-3 Brian Ellliott is killing it. Is he new too?

9(6)

 18-9-1 Will Jimmy Howard be the first to 20 wins? Or will Fleury get to it first?

10(7) Florida Panthers 16-9-5 The Panthers are leading the Southeast by 6 points, capitalizing on Washington’s stumbles.
11(11) Dallas Stars  16-11-1 19th GPG, 17th GA, 22nd PP%, 12th PK… and yet, they’re leading the Pacific.  WTF?
12(18)

Nashville Predators

 14-11-4 Nashville is terrible at home. 5-5-3 as opposed to 9-6-1 on the road.
13(21) Washington Capitals  15-12-1 Don’t you just have the feeling that they’re going to go on a hot streak soon?
14(15) Toronto Maple Leafs   15-11-3 We liked them better when they were owned by The Ontario Teacher’s Pension… gave it a Green Bay Packers kind of feel.
15(19) Winnipeg Jets 13-14-2 That ugly collapse (on a back to back) to Detroit notwithstanding, the Jets are on fire, having won the previous 4.
16(25)

Calgary Flames

 14-13-2 I’m not going to lie.  I do not know a single player on this team, and frankly I feel unqualified to judge them.
17(14)

Buffalo Sabres

 15-12-2 Buffalo hasn’t looked good so far on their 5 game homestead. But if they can manage a win against the Sens and Leafs this week, they’ll feel a lot better once they hit the road.
18(16) Phoenix Coyotes  15-11-3 League worst on the PP. If they can get that sorted out, this team WILL make the playoffs.
19(13)

San Jose Sharks

 15-10-2 The Sharks continue to play with Vamosi’s heart during a 1-3 week losing three one goal games to Min, @STL and @Chi.
20(17)

Edmonton Oilers

 14-13-3 Edmonton is pretty average, but the ladies just go crazy for them.
21(22)

 Montréal Canadiens

12-11-7 I predict that Ottawa will overtake the Habs, and they will be the best team to finish last in a division this season.
22(24) New Jersey Devils  15-13-1 The Devils had a hard time keeping the lead against Tampa Bay, but Parise showed he’s still got the goods.
23(23) Ottawa Senators 13-13-4 Milan Michalek has caught Kessel for most goals, and at this pace, the Sens might catch Toronto for wins.
24(20) Colorado Avalanche  13-16-1 WTHII knows someone who knows Shane O’Brien, so we root for him.  Hope he does well.  Get that contract son.
25(12) Los Angeles Kings  13-12-4 Terry Murray R.I.P.
26(26)  Tampa Bay Lightning  12-16-2 You’ll notice the last 5 teams have stayed the same from last week.  It’s because they have all remained on the same trajectory of suckiness.
27(27)  New York Islanders 9-12-6 If only Moulson could be cloned.
28(28) Carolina Hurricanes  9-18-4 Wouldn’t it be great if, after 30 games, if you haven’t gotten to 10 wins, the remainder of your season was cancelled?
29(29) Anaheim Ducks  8-16-5 Only 2 wins in the past 10 games, I wonder what kind of foundation Bruce will be able to implement under these conditions.
30(30)

Columbus Blue Jackets

 8-17-4 I’m starting to feel like Columbus will be better next year.  Also, and call me crazy, but I think they’ll move up by the end of the season.
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4 thoughts on “WEEKLY NHL POWER RANKINGS

  1. Kenton says:

    Jarome Iginla

  2. Noted… I will watch a Flames game this week and report back on good old Jarome Iglesias.

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